It was a crazy day! 64 days sober and felt absolute rubbish.

I just felt very irritated today, down, lost and couldn’t concentrate. It felt like my mind and body were missing something, but I could not quite put my finger on what. My morning started off rubbish too, woke up with a slight headache which didn’t really shift throughout the day. Tried to get on with some of the project, but could not get myself motivated. Did a bit of morning reflection and meditation, which worked a bit until I started work.

Couldn’t work properly all day. Found myself getting irritated and frustrated very quickly with drivers on the road, and then slowly with clients, for which I kept the anger down, smile on my face and just pushed through it. All day I found that I could not concentrate and focus on work.

There were no cravings to drink at any point today, I just felt really really down. I did spend all day though doing breathing techniques and listening to some meditation, whilst out at work, to try and bring myself back down again.

When I got in I meditated and read some of the big book, alongside some of the DBT literature I got from rehab.

I didn’t attend a meeting as didn’t feel up for it and didn’t want to speak to anyone, but if I had any cravings at all in the day, I would have forced myself to attend.

Time to relax, cook some food and have an early night and get to bed.

I am grateful I did not get cravings or even buy alcohol

Tomorrow is another day!