It was a good start to the day sorting out other bedrooms and clearing out / sorting more stuff. Feels good to be able to do this now, without having a craving for alcohol. Also felt good to be able to focus better on the tasks I was doing.

Decided as it was ok weather outside to take a little break and go for a walk. This is when the day took a bit of a change and I was slightly triggered! I received a call that only annoyed me at first with the conversation we were having and at this point was not triggered, but then the conversation got more heated.

They were just being very sharp with me on the phone, asking about the project I’m working on and questioning why I was not going to an in-person meeting tonight, this was due to being too busy sorting out things and instead, I was going to do an online one, this way I would have more time and still attend a meeting.

I then mentioned how I went to the shop, had to queue up near the alcohol and was not triggered at all, this is when I related it to a trigger that they are part of and I am avoiding, whereas I could stand next to bottles of wine and not be triggered at all. I think I mentioned this in the wrong way, purely because I was getting wound up at the way the conversation was up to this point.

I ended the call before a full-blown argument started and I was heavily triggered.  They then called back and I explained that I did not want to talk right now and ended the call again. I felt I had to do this to control the situation and my feelings.

I put on some meditation, calmed down a bit and took a drive just to change my surroundings and reflect with calmness. This worked and I had calmed down and felt better again. No cravings at all the whole time just did not want to get wound up enough.

I spoke with them later on, had a chat about the boundaries and what can and cannot be said, set more of these boundaries and ended the call well.

Did the online meeting later in the evening and this reinforced in me the need to speak with other fellow alcoholics and share your experiences.

Tomorrow is another day, but I was thankful for not letting myself get wound up