Love waking up to good weather, even though it is at 5.30 am.

Spent the morning inputting more of the rehab diary into the Modaat website.  This is the last thing I need to do now, and then I can make this website live.

Early start for work and as the weather is amazing right now it made the day all that better.  I was a lone wolf today, as there is only 2 on my team and the other member of staff was off.  This job can feel lonely sometimes when you are on your own, so just kept myself busy.

The evening psychoeducational group was on the 2nd part of fear, and coping strategies when feeling fear.

My biggest fear has been “missing out”, especially after seeing social posts from the weekend, from friends out at the pub enjoying the weather.

I then realised that this fear turns into a fear of “rejection”, as no one had asked me to come out in the first place.

If I am not careful and manage my fear – then this fear could turn into another, the fear of relapse.  Or even lead me to relapse!

To address my fears, I must find the root causes.  The AA Big Book identifies the threat to our self-identity as the “Seven Parts of Self Denial”;

Self Esteem, Pride, Financial Security, Personal Relations, Ambitions, Emotional Security and Sex Relations.

My fears of missing out and rejection fall into Pride, Ambition and Personal Relations.

Now that I understand these fears, I can start by using different mindfulness exercises to reconnect with the present and ground myself.

I find that box breathing, meditation and letting the thoughts come and go work best for me.

I must always be conscious of my fears and manage them!