Day 13.

DETOX FINISHED!

No more Benzo – only vitamins.

Another mad and crazy day at the castle!

The day started well with another lecture on Step 1.  The lecture was about admitting powerlessness and unmanageable behaviour of your addiction.  I realised that I have been in denial of my addiction.

“It is me that has gone to the shop and bought the bottle of wine”

I am feeling more like myself due to now being fully detoxed and 13 days of sobriety.  More motivated and set in a routine, happier within myself.

Started on Step 1 exercises, which is providing me with a deeper insight into my addiction and the consequences this addiction had had on my life, family, social, financial and most importantly ‘ME’ and the person my addiction has turned me into.

I am now more determined than ever to continue on my 12-step journey, inside and outside the castle, and live a life of sobriety.

The day then took a bit of a turn.

A fellow peer tested positive for COVID and was put into self-isolation.  Other peers close to this peer were tested and were negative.  Hopefully, this remains an isolated case.  I am not worried about this, but I have increased my awareness of my own personal hygiene.  Washing my hands more than before, to try and prevent myself from catching COVID.

We were then made aware that two peers had left the castle grounds early in the morning, without informing anyone.  This then resulted in the police coming to the castle and putting a search out for the two missing peers.  This was a shock to me, as I had bonded with one of these peers and did not expect this to happen.

Thankfully they were found (over an hour away from the castle) and put into the admissions unit, one of the peers was then discharged and left.  I felt sorry for this peer as they were making progress in recovery, but it brought home to me how important it is to trust the 12 steps and stick with them.

Meditation in the evening I found relaxing and calming, also allowing me time to reflect upon the day’s events and how important it is to focus on my own treatment.

Trust in the process and stick with it during the hard times.

Be honest with yourself, talk about your feeling and emotions.  Don’t bottle them up and fester on them.