Day 17.

Dad’s 68th Birthday.

06:30

Woke up with no alarm, new body clock has kicked in – typical, I am in isolation and can sleep in!

Went back to sleep as still feeling a bit under the weather, my left eye has formed a small infection due to being run down, and still have my contacts in.

07:15

Awoken by a knock on the door, my breakfast was outside. Rice Krispies.

Decided to shower to feel better and took my contacts out to try to stop the infection from getting worse.

Started on the AA big book again, and fell asleep reading it.

11:50

Awoken again by a knock on the door, Lunch – Chicken Pie and Soup.

Had no appetite so left most and went back to bed to try to read the AA book.

12:50

Got a bag of goodies delivered from the shop 🙂

x3 Fanta and x3 Coke to help stay hydrated and crisps.  Forgot to get chocolate so sugar boosts.  Totally forgot that the juice was sugar-free, Fail!

Still feel really crap.  Feel really cold (although both heaters are on full), sweats and a sore head.

Back to bed to sleep, rest and get this virus out of my system.

13:35

The nurse woke me up.  Have a high temperature and high heart rate.  Still have a headache and cold.  Given paracetamol and back to bed.

A peer came up and knocked on my door asking how I was.  It was nice to talk with this peer, and it felt warm inside to know other peers were thinking of me and trying to support me.

Read more of the AA book and back to sleep.

14:30

Another peer has been isolated, so now 2, as the 1st peer isolated in now clear of symptoms and going back into the castle.

Went outside for a smoke (only allowed to stay at the top of the fire escape, away from other peers) and saw some peers, had a quick chat as was still feeling rough.  Speaking to other peers felt good, but I’m happy on my own in isolation.

I have accepted isolation, no point getting angry or annoyed over something I can’t control.  Jut adapted and dealt with it to stay happy and positive-minded.

17:30

Dinner – Fish, Potato Croquettes, Veg.

Had most of it but still don’t have an appetite back.  Forced myself to eat, as I need to get the energy to recover.

Small rest until my phone is delivered to me, phone day!

18:00

Phone delivered!

Swiped away all the notifications, and have not looked at any since arriving as want to focus on recovery in the castle.  I can catch up on everything when out, don’t want any distractions playing on my mind in-between phone days.

Still felt a bit crap, so called my mum only and had a productive, long conversation until the nurse came back for my phone.

Told my mum I was in isolation, but well and being looked after.  I have had COVID 5 times now, so she was at ease and just laughed saying ‘I do not know anyone else who has caught it as many times as you’.  I am also fully vaccinated.

As I was taken into isolation shortly after reading my impact letter from her to my group, I had a strong feeling of talking to her about it.

I said to her that I have come to a realisation within myself, that I have something buried ‘deep down’ within myself, that I have to find and resolve.  I also said how I can’t be the old person I was, but I will be a new, better and more improved son.

I will need to be open and honest with everyone when out, even if it hurts, in order for me to recover and become the new/better version of myself.  My mum said that she understands that deep, emotional and hard times will be ahead for me and that she only wants me to be well and recover.

It felt like a weight off my shoulders with a sense of relief by hearing my mum say this to me.  I feel my mum understands my alcoholism is an illness.

Tough days will be ahead and feel reassured that my mum is supporting me on my recovery journey.

Going outside for a smoke, fresh air, and having chats with peers made me feel better today.