Woke up early this morning and had a better sleep, even though it is still quite hot at night.

The daily routine is still in place, with another good day at work in the sun.

At the AA meeting, I decided to do the main share, a reading from As Bill Sees It, focused on Pride.

I shared with the group my feelings on this reading and Pride.  I mentioned how this is something that I looked at yesterday within the aftercare therapy.

My acceptance is the main area where my pride can get the better of me.  I feel that I have fully surrendered to my addiction, but I don’t feel that I have accepted people’s expectations of me in recovery, and this is where my pride starts to take over.

I still need to fully accept that I have caused damage in my past addiction and that it will take time for adjustment to happen within friendships.  Sometimes I feel that my pride takes over in that I think, I am sober now, so people will start speaking to me again and I can mend the past issues caused.  However, I am starting to realise and accept that this will take time, and the hard part to accept is that bonds may not be healed and I may have to cut ties in order to protect my sobriety.

It was reassuring to hear how other people in the group could relate to me, and I found that I gained some useful insights into how they have dealt with situations of pride before.  This I feel is the benefit of sharing honestly.

Slowly I feel I will accept these changes in my life, and hopefully, some can be mended.  I must accept though that mending may not happen.  I must always put my recovery first though, which in itself is selfish, but it is a different type of pride.  Pride for myself.

I cannot change people, places or things.