Acceptance was the subject this evening in the psychoeducation session.  Something that I think about every day in my recovery.

My recovery will never end, and to me, acceptance has been one of the most important factors in ensuring I remain abstinent.  Coming to terms with myself and my life is the way I can find true serenity.

For many years I had tried to get sober and remain abstinent.  I would go through periods of not drinking and then thinking that I could have that ‘one’ drink again, and this time everything would be fine, as I would be able to control my drinking.   I was lying to myself, as I was never ‘ok’ the next time I drank again.  I could not accept that I had a problem.

Once I had decided to sort my life out and get into rehab, this was the first time I started to accept that I had a problem.  I could not change my life unless I accepted that I am an alcoholic.

In rehab, Step 1 was key in starting my recovery journey – accepting that I had a problem and that my life was unmanageable.

During the rehab process, I discovered my triggers and issues, and then I had to accept these to find ways of preventing me from having a relapse.

I had to surrender myself and be willing to change.

There are many things I have discovered about myself that I did not think were causing me to have issues in my life, and after a lot of self-searching and thought processing, I have accepted these issues and found ways to manage them, for me to remain sober.

Accepting the truth is very hard to deal with on all emotional levels, especially when it involves other people, places and things.  I accept that my recovery is going to be selfish in parts, but I must have the courage to change the things I can.

At times I pass my issues over to my higher power, to give up my struggle, which is out of my hands, and be grateful for the gift of recovery and guidance.

I feel my recovery journey up to now (100 days sober today) has not been easy, but I have accepted that I am an alcoholic and that changes must be made.  Some changes will be out of my control and will hurt, but I must stand firm.  These changes have resulted in me being happier and so far having a more fulfilling life than I had previously.

I make decisions on a weekly and daily basis that I must accept as part of my recovery, such as not putting myself in a situation that could cause a potential relapse, just simply because I want to socialise.

Acceptance will always be a part of my life and my recovery journey.  At times it will be hard, but I must accept change to remain sober.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

(Serenity Prayer)